


Banned

by PumpkinDoodles



Series: Taserbones Tumblr Prompts & Tiny (Adorkable) Fics [6]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, and mentions of Avengers cereal, but you know Halloween nonsense, zero real plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 03:22:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20753516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PumpkinDoodles/pseuds/PumpkinDoodles
Summary: A silly bit of domestic fluff for @Britt1975, who loves established relationship Brock/Darcy, partially inspired by this tumblr prompt:“I just got banned from target for life.”“How in the hell does one get banned from target?”“Careful planning, boredom, and an overall disregard for social norms.”





	Banned

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Britt1975](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Britt1975/gifts).

> *I own nothing!

Rumlow pulled into the store parking lot, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. Where were they--? As soon as he thought it, he spotted Jane and Darcy standing outside on the sidewalk. Well, Jane was standing. Darcy was sitting on one of the red circular things that lined the sidewalk--were they concrete, he mused?--and swinging her feet. He eased the SUV up next to them and rolled down the window. “Hey!” Darcy said brightly, sliding off the circle and picking up their shopping bags.

“I heard somebody was thrown out of here?” he said, arm over the window.

“Worse!” Jane said. “She got banned from Target.” She opened the back door and climbed in as Darcy passed her the bags. He smirked as Darcy walked around and got in the passenger seat. She clamored into the tall vehicle with an audible huff, leaned over, and kissed him noisily.

“How the fuck do you get banned from here?” he said, when she pulled back, grinning in spite of himself.

“Boredom, careful planning, and disregard for social norms,” Darcy said. 

“She was riding the carts and knocked over a cereal display,” Jane said.

“But I bought four boxes!” Darcy said. “It was a win-win. I don’t know why they were so mad.”

“Jane, which types of children’s cereal did my wife buy this time?” he asked, looking back in the rearview mirror. Darcy grinned at him. Jane looked in the bags.

“Um, Thor Pops, Captain America Crunch Berries, and Fruit Loops. Also, a novelty coffee mug,” Jane said.

“I thought you were boycotting the Avengers cereal?” Brock asked casually, driving down an aisle of parking spaces.

“Well, it occurred to me that they would take my petition for Crossbones Cocoa Puffs more seriously if I was a customer,” she said. “We’re up to twenty-two-thousand signatures.”

“Twenty-two thousand, huh?” he said. 

“Yup,” Darcy said. “But once Jane’s grad school friend translates it into Mandarin, I think we can really up your numbers--”

“Mandarin?” he said.

“You’re a cult figure in China because you fake-fought Steve,” Jane supplied. 

“They think Steve’s a symbol of American imperialism,” Darcy said. “WWII, the shield, the stars, the spangles, it’s a whole thing.”

“Imperialism, gotcha,” Brock said. He stopped at a red light. “So that means they like Crossbones? The fake mercenary I pretended to be for a year while I stole back stuff from HYDRA?” His voice was doubtful. Darcy nodded.

“It doesn’t seem to matter that you were pretending, they related to your persona’s frustrations. It turns out Cap is very political science-y, symbolically.”

“Okay,” he said. 

“I feel like we’re getting you that cereal eventually,” Darcy said. “Oh!” She squeezed his hand. “I need to ask you about marshmallows!”

“Marshmallows? For the cereal?” he asked.

“How do you feel about little marshmallow skulls?” Darcy asked. “Jane and I found a Halloween cereal, so we’re making a mock up.”

“Little skulls?” he said. He thought for a second. “Are there any cereals with swords or knives?” he asked. Darcy’s eyes lit up.

“I’ll google,” she said.

“If they don’t exist, she’ll make them out of something, probably,” Jane said.

“Candy molds, maybe?” Darcy said. “Should we stop at a crafts’ store?”

“Which one?” he asked. “That place where you got the stuff for my scarves?”

“Yes,” Darcy said.

“He actually wears those?” Jane said. “Those scarves you made?”

“I like ‘em, Foster,” Brock said. “They’re great when I travel.”

“I love you,” Darcy said to Brock. “He doesn’t mind that my knitting is terrible,” she said, turning back to Jane.

“Just please tell me doesn’t wear that mugger cap you knitted?” Jane joked.

“Excuse me, that is called a toboggan and he gets cold, Jane,” Darcy scolded. “He has no body fat.”

“I love my mugger toboggan, honey,” he said, patting her knee reassuringly. He pulled into the parking lot in front of the craft store and parallel parked. “Oh, look,” he said, as they walked into the store, “they got the Halloween stuff out.” Jane grinned. Darcy had a Halloween problem.

“I’ll check the candy molds, you guys,” Jane said. 

“You wanna look at those decorations? I know how you like that,” Brock said to Darcy. She stopped him and put her arms around his waist. 

“You’re a very good husband,” Darcy told him seriously. 

“I haven’t forgotten that you let me build a training room in the backyard,” he said. 

“That really wasn’t a big deal,” she said, smiling at him. “I keep telling you, I kill plants, I didn’t mind at all. It’s less grass to cut, that was a total win.” He laughed. 

“You sure about that?” he said, as they walked over to the decorations.

“Brock, you do things for me all the time,” Darcy said, pulling out a string of pumpkin-shaped twinkle lights and biting her lip thoughtfully. 

“Those are cute,” he said. 

“You let me pick the podcasts whenever we drive Jane to conferences. Last time, it was four hours of murder podcasts,” she said.

“Hey, I still wanna find out if anybody’s solved that Colorado case. I was thinking of calling somebody in the SHIELD office in Denver,” he told her.

“Would you really?” she said.

“Yeah,” he said. “What if I put one of these skeletons out for the trick or treaters?”

“Oh, cool,” she said. It was a very realistic skeleton. “Why are you smiling like that?”

“Next, I’m going to hide in Jack’s locker,” he said. He chuckled. “He don’t like surprises.” They were adding outdoor decorations to a shopping cart when Jane came around the corners. She was grinning.

“Guys, look what I found. A vampire pinata!” she said.

“In a coffin,” Darcy said. “I love it!”

“Can I shoot it?” Brock said. “I could use rubber bullets. Or is it baseball bats only?”

“I wonder if that would break the candy?” Darcy said out loud.

“Baseball bats are fine,” Brock said, pursing his lips in thought. “I could get fighting sticks too. Nice solid whack, if you’re worried about the bullets.”

**Author's Note:**

> link to original prompt: https://yespumpkindoodlesthings.tumblr.com/post/187893850148/write-it-motherfuckers-person-a-i-just-got


End file.
